Saturday, November 22, 2008

Craig Koger, 92, rests with the Indian Lords

Craig "Little Big Man" Koger, 92, went to the sky with the Indian Lords.

He is preceded in death by his beautiful 94 year old girlfriend Jessica, his loving family; mother Echo 128 years old, father John 128 years old, sister Kendra 89 years old, and brother Thain 86 years old. Of course there was also the two nurses (who will remain anonymous).

Mr. Koger only worked one year out of his life as a slot machine player when he was 24. His hometown newspaper, the weekly Platte County Record Times claimed he inherited his fortune of 10 million dollars and retired from the casino.

He bought the Playboy Mansion with the extra coin and he settled in the mansion. Soon thereafter, he developed an insatiable appetite for Viagra; it was offered throughout the mansion like dinner mints at a restaurant. His "very loving" self finally met his match. Thoroughly enjoying an evening with his two nubile nurses, most of the blood in his body flowed purposefully to the body part demanding it the most - leaving him with barely a trickle to maintain the rest of his frail frame. He passed smiling. Had he known how to count beyond ménage à trois, he would've gone in an even more grand fashion.

It was his only regret.

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