Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Lord Michale Radcliffe, 277

Lord Michale "Lord Mike" Radcliffe pissed one too many times. Lord Mike hailed from the lush land of Nelson B.C. Canada and after many years proceeded to go straight to hell.

Lord Radcliffe lived a full life. A damn full life of two hundred and seventy seven years. Although he was passionate about the lush green and mountainous terrain of his hometown of Nelson B.C., he became a bit adventurous at the age of a spry 150 and decided to pursue his lifelong desire to head south to the U.S. of A. There he made a second successful living in Utah as a toymaker. He met and married Melissa, and with her, started the toy company Melissa and Doug.

After the passing of Melissa, he yearned for his hometown and returned to Canada. Never satisfied in one location for long, and at a creaky age and barely continent, he fled to the U.S. again. Since the Patriot Act was passed, paperwork was more carefully evaluated at the border. Feeling rushed after a long life, he decided to hop the fence. A real fence. In the last two decades of his life, the U.S. had been entirely encircled with an electrified chain link fence. The unfortunate confluence of his age-related bladder problems, having just smoked a bit and crossing the fence led to his demise. He urinated on the fence and the shock raced back and ...

He knew how to rile even the border patrol. He and his crazy spirit will be sorely missed. Farewell Lord Michale.

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