Tammy Wannabe Wannabe, a Queen in every sense of the word, departed this life on Sunday, March 19th at the Hilton Hotel in Jackson, Mississippi. Tammy spent her last hours on earth perched on a barstool oogling the undertakers who were gathering for a Mortician's Convention, which was conveniently just setting up shop when she "passed" (read: fell over and died, y'all!). An overdose of PigCandy and Cheese Grits is suspected.
Her last wish was to be cremated and shot out of a cannon. Since her slack-azz family cannot be relied upon to carry out this final task, her friends, the Sweet Potato Queens Wannabe Wannabe's are going to take over this chore. A memorial service and honorary crawfish boil in her honor will be held at Homer's Bar-B-Que on High St. in Jackson, Mississippi and will commence on Friday, March 24th at 6pm. Bikers, Queens and stripper poles will be present to add to the ambience of this somber ceremony.
Tammy's last days on earth were filled with friends, laughter, music and dancing. Also, hot wangs and tequila shots. While Tammy's behavior in the last few days was, understandably outlandish, her friends all agreed "love her hair, hope she wins!" they sorrowfully stated, when asked for comments on Tammy's demise. Tammy's friends have Promised to make sure she is remembered fondly by always wearing Cute Shoes and shaving everything that needs to be shaved, everyday, in her honor. "Tammy would've wanted it that way" sobbed a friend, as Tammy was taken away in a Hot Pank Wambulance to the tune of "She's a Brick House" playing softly in the background.
In leiu of flowers, Tammy's friends have requested donations be made to something called "likker funds".
Friday, March 24, 2006
Queen Tammy Wannabe Wannabe, age unknown (she never would tell us)
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11 condolences:
Few will be missed more than Tammy, rip girl.
uhh....way to make fun of Mississippi.
Stuff like that never happens.
Imbecile.
It's fiction, lighten up.
While the "death" was fiction, I can PROMISE you that stuff like this does indeed happen, the third weekend in March, every year.
Jackson Mississippi has the third largest St. Paddy's Day Parade in the country, and the Sweet Potato Queens and their Wannabe's and their Wannabe Wannabe's converge to party that weekend away.
Anyone who doesn't "get it" needs to get themselves to the bookstore and purchase The Sweet Potato Queens Book Of Love, the first of 4 books penned by Jill Conner Brown. You will die laughing. I Promise.
That's it, I'm coming down there next year to settle this. See you then.
Ohhh... can't wait! Meetcha at Hilton Hotel bar! I'll be the one wearing the tiara. *wink*
I love hot wangs.
Everyone likes hot wangs.
Reverend, you of all people, should submit.
Patty, Bless Your Heart, we cannot help it if you haven't been laid in 27 years.
This is getting good.
"Someone", you are cordially invited to go on over to the Sweet Potato Queens Message Board of Love and introduce yourself.
They will love you. And they don't bite. Much.