Friday, November 28, 2008

Mrs. Rumor Hassit, Karmic Death

Rumor Hassit, 50, Gossipville, spoken ill of to death. She is survived by her killers; relatives of the people damaged by Mrs. Hassit's words. They comprised a mob who tossed her onto the third rail of the Wonderland MBTA Station just outside of Boston in the city of Revere.

She would be considered by many to be a woman of few hobbies, but Mrs. Hassit was busy from eyes opened until eyes shut firing up the rumor mill of all who crossed her path. She was treacherously relentless in her pursuit of pain.

Her epitaph:

Never Met a Sole Unworthy of her
Sullen Tones of Sloppy Slander
Those Bastards Deserved
Every Damn Word

She will be missed by no man.

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