Russell Rogers, 22, Gloriously to Hell

Mr. Russell "Willis" Rogers from scenic Riverton, Wyoming was killed today, November 14, 2008. Willis, his friends called him, was quiet. The way Willis liked it.

Ironically, Mr. Rogers, had a lifelong fascination with the culture and fighting tactics of the Ninja. Friends recounted his horrific death that occurred this morning. They were reading the footage from Russ' webcam that caught the entire event. Russ had been playing WoW at a friend's loft most of last night and fell asleep on the couch; he never made it to bed. He was awaken by some noises at the window. Within seconds, he was engaged in an attack with a gang of ninja warriors (visiting Riverton for a conference). In an unprecedented move, one of the clan broke from the traditional fighting techniques and tossed a martini (dry) at Russ and chased it with a small torch. He was immediately engulfed in flames. All a blaze, Russ dropped and rolled in an attempt to put himself out. It was then he slid out of the window of his friend's loft and went plummeting to his death. Had his friend's loft not been on the 40th floor, Russ may have lived since his initial impact was on a pile of trash in a passing sanitation truck. However, if he was alive on impact, all probability of his survival was destroyed as the truck's impacter was activated upon contact. Organs that had been ejected from his body were scattered about the street. The outlines of the organs made by CSI staff amused small children. Their laughter would've made Russ smile.

Riverton will be less without him.